| Friends Only |
[31 Aug 2009|12:34am] |
 
I don't update this journal much these days. I cut down my friends list significantly, no offense to anyone, but from now on I am limiting this to certain communities I really enjoy and certain people I can't bare to shut out. It's been a long time, LJ, I am keeping things small from here on in. Sorry. It's been for realz.
|
|
|
[17 Mar 2008|08:43am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
we might as well be strangers - keane |
] |
i have no reason to but i hate my job...still i am making quite a bit of money for sillyretail... perhapsperhaps it is just that i can't keep doing this - meanial jobs that mean nothing and make the world no better than it was before i started. ben and jerry's to doncath to wonderbucks (although wonderbucks was def the best of these) to this. at least granville island is beautiful and an area of vancity previously unexplored. newness.
other than the job i feel good. jess and i are spending way more time apart this time around, seeing each other for a few hours here and there but i am hanging out with other people as well. i am enjoying being single - coming home and being cranky and not having to talk to anyone about it. i just go for a swim or watch HGTV until i fall asleep. maybe that sounds sad and not something to be happy about? maybemaybe i don't know. what i do know is that i am taking proper alone time this time around - pre-Jess I was a total social mess and barely truly single i was nearly always dating someone even people i didn't give a shit about. i spent no alone time, running around and drinking and kissing... not this time. and i am lonely, don't get me wrong, i miss having someone look at me like i make their days brighter with my very existance... but i needed this.
i was with jess longer than i should have been, and a big part of that was i didn't want to be by myself and having to do all the thinking and longing that went with that. but in a weird way, i missed the longing and thinking. that feeling when you get all will we or won't we? and then you do and it's like oh and fabulous and your tummy drops into your sneakers and you feel like maybe possibly this is falling in love. kinda like going to a vintage store and you find something you didn't even realize you needed but you did, you totally did and it's perfect and yours and like $2.50.
otherwise. am settling in just fine. living in the west end for right now until april 1st and i love it. the buildings here are incredible. there are comfy tiny shuttle buses. the beach is a minute and a half's walk away. and on the 1st i move into my new home which i am so excited for...my new roommate seems like she is mature and lovely and the house is fuckin cool looking. big square building of ratty radness.
i want to paint my room and i don't know what color but i do know wicked psyched for it. i am excited to unpack, finally, and stay unpacked. hide my damn suitcase so i don't have to look at it again for a long time.
enough. i have a bus to catch in half an hour and my dishwasher needs to be started, clothes need to be selected and i woke up with medusa hair, which really must be dealt with.
a bientot.
|
|
|
[16 Jan 2008|09:52am] |
i am feeling good about my decision to drop montreal like it is hot and go back to vancity ASAP, being back here has cemented my resolve. montreal is whatever it is montreal. but living elsewhere is an adventure. and it sucks sometimes, and is lonely, but i like not having to speak french if i don't fucking feel like it and i like not dragging my feet through too-high snow. i might even be able to get my job back upon my return, we shall see. i think i will go visit some folks in toronto as of two weeks from now - my mom is heading that way with a friend so i think i will hop a ride and then seperate to see my homies.
it is good to see my fam and wonnnnnderful to see my friends, my loves. I will miss them like whoa. but i feel it in my bones head heart jawline - montreal is not meant to be my home right now.
so i am giving up my glorious apt, selling off my TV and bookcase and camera if i can, and i am going to ride away in a glorious explosion of fire. or on an aircanada flight, whatever. back to rainy, clear cement streets and hot gay girls everywhere and.
|
|
|
[15 Jan 2008|01:39am] |
i just finished applying for UBC and SFU.
huh.
and i spent the evening with my lovely lexi.
not bad.
|
|
|
[14 Jan 2008|10:54am] |
Canada is being a douchebag. Gay Males are being banned from donating organs. Dude, as someone who is personally too damn selfish to want to donate organs, I say: Appreciate those who aren't. Anyway. If you are Canadian and you want to sign the petition to reverse the ban, here is the URL: http://www.petitiononline.com/gayban/petition.html Sign it. Sign. You want to.
Here is a cutely homo comic thing I discovered:
( more )
|
|
|
[29 Nov 2007|09:43am] |
jenn's visit came and went, all too short and unsatisfying, and now i am back to missing her. woo.
i got a job at wonderbucks and a place to stay as of tomorrow - i can't live with jess. i adore him, but we are totally done like dinner. both of us feel this way. living with him - we fight nonstop. i get resentful because i feel trapped living with him - i wake up looking at the same books on his bookshelf that i looked at for two and a half years. i need my own space.
i want to look forward to hanging out with him. instead i feel.
i miss hanging out with girls. here i hang out with jess and toby and i love them but! but! i miss girls. yet i can't bring my lazy ass to call people. lesigh.
|
|
|
[31 Oct 2007|08:54am] |
tis halloween.
jenni woke me up like a child excited on christmas morning, and lured me out of bed with coffee and kisses. yesterday we bought loads of candy incase kids come by. i work three hours today (?) - a retarded shift if there ever was one - and then i must come home and pack, as i am moving in with karol tomorrow to save money.
for halloween i am going as edna from hairspray, with karol as my husband wilbur. i have no idea where we are going for it - the paddock i guess. i don't know how to make my hair 50s - magenta streaks weren't really big back then. hm. jenni is going as a zombie geisha and her costume is crazy - her makeup makes her look fully terrifying.
to do today:
1. check bank balance
2. pay final rent
3. take off nailpolish (chipped black doesn't seem very edna)
4. write matt&becks card
5. shower
6. go back to unltd shop and have them remove goddamn tag from the bag i bought
7. find out how much it would be to post some things home
8. finish packing
happy halloween, all. what are you going as? what are you doing? tell me tell me.
|
|
|
[25 Jul 2007|04:14pm] |
i just bought tickets to the calgary folk fest. i'm going with karol and kristin, parts 1 and 2 of my dyke posse. oh my gods, i can't believe i bought tickets to the calgary folk fest. i am going to calgary. to hear NEKO MOTHERFUCKIN CASE. and how dykey is going to a folk fest? wicked awesome.
i have decided to put an end to the pseudo-relationship i've been having for the last two weeks with a sexually confused australian girl i live with. it's too weird and unstable. it's making my head spin, both for good and bad. i wish she wasn't such a lovely kisser. and so cute. and nice. but straight! what have i been doing! lesigh.
i'm going to miss it, but she keeps too much secret. i don't like not being able to read her. i don't like being her dirty secret, i feel like it makes me seem like my lady-liking is wrong. i can't support that crazy business.
so. i am going to go to the folk fest with my dykes and check out foxy girls and forget the last two weeks craziness.
kissing girls makes my stomach churn and my head spin and. it feels right. it feels like. why did i ever stop? never again. girlsgirlsgirls.mm
|
|
|
[09 Jul 2007|02:21pm] |
am sick and home from work.
am doing 40+ hrs per week, i have a dyke posse, and i attempted and failed to hike tunnel mountain.
i see dears right in front of me multiple times a week.
i am getting my straight housemates addicted to the l word.
i love the bow valley falls, mountains everywhere, 8dollar steak night and the cake company cafe.
i hate living with eighteen year olds.
i miss being kissed.
|
|
| rachel is so rock and roll right now |
[21 Jun 2007|10:11am] |
am in calgary, in a hotel room. i fucking LOVE hotel rooms. and this one does not disappoint. and i am paying for it myself! eee!
on the plane last night i was sandwiched between two people and i was totally medicated and exhausted, could barely keep my eyes open. but i couldn't get comfy enough to sleep! at once point i dozed off and woke up with my head leaning against the dude at my side. AHHHHHHHH i was so embarrased but he smiled at me kindly, at least.
now i am drinking coffee and soon i will buy overpriced breakfast!
i am in calgary, on my way to banff. holy shit!
|
|
| wake me up before you go-go |
[14 Jun 2007|10:52am] |
apparently banff is the canadian capital of stds, so if i manage to find me a ladyfriend i need to make her get tested first. awkward first date chatter: "so...have you ever slept with anyone in banff before? yes? okay, well please head over to the std clinic and we'll meet up again when you have yer results..."
last day of work.
six days till leaving.
|
|
|
[02 Jun 2007|02:49pm] |
found someone for july and end of june, but not august yet. le sigh.
ben and jerry's will be the death of me! exhausting much?
going going gone.
|
|
| scrap house like whoa |
[15 May 2007|12:54pm] |
this is so fucking cool.
and inspiring.
i wish more people would do stuff like this.
|
|
|
[15 May 2007|10:08am] |
yesterday i worked from 9:30 am until 12:30 am. ahaha. ha. today i am death squared. i am death warmed over. i was going to do that again but i cancelled with my lovely and flexible first job (the one that starts at 9:30am) so i am only working from 5 today. i did so much ice cream scoopage yesterday that my hand was all
red and shaky.
so i think that on the thursday i have off i will go in instead. which means. one day off this week. i better be so damn rich when all this is done...
and i missed the season finale so someone better post it online and quick. i need my paige/alex fix. which is slightly more of an alex fix. but regardless i need it.
ever since i started getting internet signal in my apart, everywhere and anytime, i haven't written a word creatively. must. write. am losing my mind but can't get offline...
|
|
|
[17 Apr 2007|08:46am] |
|
1. degrassi was wicked yesterday. girladorablesmoochies. i sighed and squealed and could kindasorta barely look.
2. coffee is the best thing ever. at 1pm today, i start a new job. at concordia working for the english department. and coffee is makin me feel like it shall be awesome. or at least mediocre-yet-okay
|
|
|
[24 Mar 2007|10:16am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
one millimeter per second |
] |
i kindasorta hate my job. and i make no money there. in the last two weeks, i worked barely 30 hours. this is craziness.
on my days off i run around selling things just to be able to pay rent.
i am going to drink more coffee now.
|
|
|
[20 Mar 2007|10:40am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
belle and sebastian |
] |
am moving out west this summer, probably, and so i am trying to cut myself down to basics. so. if you care. if you want cheap things.
BOOKS AND MAGAZINES
human punk by john king $5
uncut magazine's punk issue 1975-1979 $3
sex pistols file $3
lennon in america - geoffrey guliano $5
the little friend (hardcover)- donna tartt $10
scottish fairy tales $5
on beauty by zadie smith $7
messy thrilling life by sabrina ward harrison $10
a life less ordinary screenplay by john hodge $3
a fine and private place by peter s. beagle $1
mix tape the art of cassette culture edited by thurston moore $15
webster's home and office dictionary $3
CDS
the beatles magical mystery tour & sergeant pepper $7 each
metric - old world underground $7
bloc party - silent alarm $7
ladytron light & magic $7
the l word season 3 soundtrack $5
pink floyd - the dark side of the moon $7
punk and new wave compilation $7
lisa loeb and nine stories - tails $5
|
|
|
[15 Mar 2007|11:17am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the moon - cat power |
] |
a lot is going on, i guess.
well, not in an actual way because my job is giving me about ten hours a week so i am broke and breaking. no money to go out and do things. no money to make me feel like i am contributing to the world. i make enough for rent and buy my meds on my credit card and i eat mostly pasta and $2 pizza slices. i watch a lot of bad teevee in an attempt to zombify my brain.
but i have two job offers for the summer - one in manning park, b.c. one in banff. i would need to sublet my beautiful place. i am not looking forward to a stranger sleeping in my bed and using my things, but oh well. i am not giving that place up, nor am i going to turn down a job in someplace that isn't montreal.
got a new rejection letter for a story submission. sad, but hey. better than not trying.
i am so tired all the time. i can't stay up past 10:30pm these days.
it could be sorrow, but who knows?
so when i say a lot is going on, what i mean is that nothing is going on but in my head things are confused and frightened. i am feeling a lot less crazy these days, fingers crossed, and the jobs far away seem like real possibilities. but i'll be away from my family for the first time in all twenty-three of my years on earth. and i'll be away from my annie, who keeps me sane. and. and. i'll be in nature. nothing but a husky's gas station to remind me of the civilized world. me, rachel, lil' miss why-the-fuck-do-people-sit-around-doing-nothing-but-watching-the-sunset? girl.
|
|
| a bunch of totally important things: |
[25 Feb 2007|04:04pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
karen dalton - take me |
] |
i just showered and put peppermint body lotion on my legs and it smells so good, like almostspring and clean.
it is nearly march, which i find very exciting.
yesterday work was so stressful, but i got through it by singing feist's mushaboom under my breath throughout. singing it made me feel like i was floating, and i think i did a way better job than usual. not that i normally do a bad job. but. anyway. i was floating, is the point.
i like you.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
la_peau_morte's journal
